Sunday, May 3, 2015

Re-entry from a foreign land

This about sums it up - how wise Mama B was in her insight to short term and long term missional endeavors across the seas. Here is some wisdom for our team that truly sums up what Kimberly & I have faced over the past few days:

Orientation #5 for Spouses/Families
As you read this, your spouse and the rest of the Ethiopia Team is getting ready to board the plane to return back to USA. The Team will be reading their Orientation #5 on the airplane. This last orientation is designed to help "re-entry" and processing.
This year I want to include spouses in the Re-entry orientation. After 2 1/2 weeks in Ethiopia, your spouse is returning home. You might think you will pick up where you left off....but nothing could be further from the truth.  So let me give you some hints that I hope will help you get back to normal.
1. Your spouse will likely be physically exhausted.  He/she has been pushing physically, eating strange food, sleeping in strange beds, often going night after night without good sleep, etc.   So....whatever you have been doing while he/she has been gone, please continue that for at least 3 days.  Continue to wash the clothes, cook the meals, straighten the house, etc.  Sleep and more sleep is what they need. So avoid any expectations of physical labor.
2. Your spouse will likely be mixed up in terms of when to sleep & when to be awake.  At 3pm he/she will be looking for a bed to climb into....because their body thinks that it is 10pm!  And when it becomes 10pm here, his/her body will be in the wee hours of the morning.  So....don't expect the usual bedtime routine (whatever that involves).  Whatever you are expecting can wait another few days.
3. Your spouse will be glad to see you, but realize that he/she is also in mourning. The Team has just formed tremendously deep & tight bonds with people on the other side of the globe. And they have had to say "goodbye" to them. So their rejoicing at being home is tempered with memories of those they left behind. So....give space for mourning. Don't become angry or discouraged if your spouse seems mellow, sometimes cries, talks incessantly of Ethiopia.  He/she is happy to see you, but he/she is also mourning.
4. Your spouse will be overflowing with stories that are important to him/her. But you won't fully understand why those stories are important. No matter how much he/she tries, you just won't really 'get it'.  So....allow him/her to talk & share. Try to appreciate the importance of the stories. Accept the difference between you and him/her. And next time, maybe you can go to Ethiopia together.....then you will really understand the stories!
Conclusion....Give Grace & Give Space. Hold things lightly for at least 5 days. After 5 days, the jet lag will be mostly settled, the fatigue will be largely erased, and the mourning will be soothed. For the next month, watch yourself & your family. The Evil One delights to do his one-two punch during the first 4-6 weeks after a tremendous mission trip. Guard yourself. Be in the Word. Give abundant grace. Nip attitudes of self-pity, indulgence, hostility, etc, in the bud. Pray with & for each other. Have times of fasting & prayer.
I hope all of this helps your Re-entry.  Know that you are appreciated in your part of the Team!
Rejoicing in His goodnesses to us.....
Becky Lynn

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